And feeling the urge to dust off my old, trusty, faithful film camera. To re-learn its ways. To see if I can let go of the automated, hi-tech habit of my fancy digital SLR and let the manual dials and focus and film advance lever of my tiny, oh-so-plain Minolta come back to me.
It's been a strange sensation.
I look at the back of this plain little camera after EVERY PHOTO.
I forget to advance the film.
My fingers forget where the shutter speed dial is.
It feels good to stretch. Even if I'm stretching BACK into old skills.
So. Here. They're not much. The film had been in my camera for years. Ha! But. I love them. Each of them. Grainy, dark, REAL. Film. Yum. I think I'll be doing this again soon.
Thank you for all the recent prayers, emails, calls, and comments. Thank you for lifting me up, even with such vagueness from me. Thank you for YOUR patience.
All shall be well. All IS well. The Lord is my shepherd-- no want shall I know.
"In the midst of affliction,
my table is spread with blessings unmeasured--
My cup runneth o'er...
Oh what shall I ask of Thy Providence more?"
Words and music that have filled my heart in recent days. I am blessed.
Things that are bringing me JOY right now:
~ Noah has come into a very pleasant stage recently. Less screaming, more cuteness... More patience with his Mama...
~ Genny and her long voice mails... her emails... And a visit this weekend.
~ My mother. Infinitely deep and brilliant and... she loves me so much. I am so blessed.
~ My father. What will I do one day without his calm yet penetrating wisdom and advice? He is so incredibly calm. And wise. And loving. And he steadies me and reminds me to have faith.
~ Joe-- his hugs have gotten bigger... His eyes have gotten softer. He is carrying me so much, and I love him for it. And he is INCREDIBLE with Noah. I adore watching them together.
~Music-- specifically the calming, healing, spiritual music I've craved recently. A shortcut to my soul... for sure.
~ Sleep-- naps and early beds, and Noah's occasional extra 30 minutes in the morning...
~ Checking off to-do lists: any time I can feel I am moving forward, not stagnating... and time I can feel a lift of a load from a long-overdue task, it is so energizing. Truly.
~ Make-up: Ha ha! But seriously, anytime a girl "pulls it together" to look good for the day, it is an automatic boost. I LOVE when I get my act together and do this!
~ Steven. Elise. Julina. Sarah. Kirsti. Each of my siblings have been so cute/funny/kind/amazing recently... each having their own adventures and trials... but each making time for each other. I love my family.
~ Scriptures. I am reading 3rd Nephi right now, and the power of the Savior's visit is washing over me. And so many of his gentle words of advice are coming to me when I need them most.
And I am quiet and calm and grateful at this moment. All is well.